Poems and Stuff

Dichotomous Truth

2007-02-04T22:57:00.000-08:00

Refined ignorant masses of sexual beasts
Controlled existence to behave civilized
Locked in the prison of every mind
The fantasies of truth subverting lives
Questions of insanity always abound
Creating chaotic confusion in doubt
The facade growing heavier with time
Weight collapsing as cracks crumble
Unable to withstand the growing appetite
Left untended deep within the mind
The body agonized in unmet satisfaction
Suppressed too long trying to be civilized
The confusing array of fantasy imagination
Bubbles forth in the stormy sea of emotion
To yell, scream the agony, esctasy frustrated
Unravelled tonight the beast prowls daylight
Sniffing the hunt with an appraising eye
For the delicacies and morsels of pure delight
Who parade their charms in mock innocence
Twittering and skittering as if in dismay
Eyes dancing with mischevious twinkling
Their rawness need is waiting to be filled
With the monster of penetrating power
To impregnate the seed of creations truth
We swallow our identity in civilized horror

Taking a Big Blow

2006-09-06T18:16:00.000-07:00

I wrote a poem last year or so reflecting on experience of my marriage and divorce. I called it A Big Blow. Today, a recent addition to my social network, Raja, a singer / songwriter himself, saw this poem and quickly turned it into a song. Within an hour the music was solid and then three takes later, sitting in my living room, with a laptop audio program and a crappy mic we captured the following song. I hope you enjoy it.

audio:A Big Blow
by leedman

lbpc_biz_card

2006-06-26T23:24:00.000-07:00

lbpc_biz_card
Originally uploaded by Leedman.

Since I do a lot of my own creative work for my website and marketing material, a couple of local entrepreneuers entrusted their website design to me and were so pleased they asked if I'd do their business cards and promotional flyers. Here is the first draft of the business card - using a screen print capture - awaiting their approval.

Soul Healer

2006-04-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

Kiss me, kiss me true
kiss me deep when I'm blue
heal all my warm wet tears
salted sweet over the years
tasted lightly on your tongue
the dream to be forever young
a salty taste of bitter-sweet
a glorious chance we did meet
arm in arm and heart to heart
you’re my heaven, my sweetheart
your touch so soft as to care
the pain gone, no more nightmare
as I feel your loving balm
peace restored my soul to calm
Kiss me, kiss me true
kiss me deep when I'm blue

Love's Silent Wait

2005-09-25T01:44:00.000-07:00

not a day goes by that I don't think of you

who would've known my thoughts could be so peppered

a quiet comfort, a quiet confidence for the woman you are

a connection for sure that rattles my cage knowing you're here

in my life

in my heart

Soul Mate? Who knew it could be so real?

Yet, I wait on you, occupied with a chasing life

that could unravel so tightly wound up in control

and a spirit calling quietly disturbing the equilibrium

the one that you know as sanity

caving in to unsettled surrender to the calmness

the stillness of mind, experiencing the silence

connected to source embodied within, without

singing joy of warm embrace to all that is

and it is Love

that I wait calmly, silently, connected

patiently wondering when

will you join me

Uncertainty

2005-09-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

I say, I see, I feel
Actions, words, and play
Good or bad, wrong or right
Uncertainty plays with me

Judgement

2005-08-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

You frailty is slipping
it's showing you see
it's telling I hear
all in your fear
killing me killing you
can't make you believe
what you cannot see
in masked obscurity

Life's Bitter-Sweet Ecstacy

2005-07-23T02:38:00.000-07:00

Life's Bitter-Sweet Ecstacy

Gazing down into the rich creamy darkness
remembering this emptiness in daily life
textured rich in this chocolate fondue
staring lost in the black glistening nothingness
swallowed by the thick creamy melt-in-your-mouth
savored taste of life diminished bite by bite until
a pleasant bitter-sweet after taste and empty wrapper
recalls the solitude lost on the breeze of the afternoon
the wrapper whisked away to litter the landscape
of scattered debris of so many untouched lives
discarded
empty
fluttering with every hopeful whisp of wind
caressing the fields until again the sun goes down
the darkness hiding their presence out of sight
figments of imagination that didn't really matter
obscured thoughts that never end
even though forgotten
mourning the loss of love crying for an embrace
of security wanting to know reality exists
when existence of this life is unknown
and I can know I am textured rich
understood nothingness and have experienced
creamy melt-in-your-mouth love
bitter-sweet

This World

2005-07-17T11:36:00.000-07:00

Everyday, getting smaller and smaller
Hearing the screams of pain and agony
The suffering continues
As mankind evolves
But into what?
Atrocities and virtue collide
In a constant battle
As two bighorn sheep
Dueling it out on mountaintop
A thundering crash on impact
Sending a shiver down the spine of society
Trying to make a better place
Will good overcome evil
Or will a blind eye be turned?
Ignoring the crimes committed
Against helpless people
Nuclear fallout, civil wars and terrorism
Destroying a fragile web
The spider must rebuild again and again

©2005 A. Lee Down

Living Paradise

2005-07-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

Eking out a living in this paradise
Gimme Johnny Walker, neat, no ice
A few more of those I'll be alright
Getting me through a long slow night

Twisted pain of death lines my face
Another chance tomorrow my saving grace
I'm here to fight, never say die
Always chasing truth never a lie

Eking out a living in this paradise
Gimme Johnny Walker, neat, no ice

Smile for me Baby I'm here for you
Whatever it takes you know I'll do
You know my dirty secret I can't hide
That's why I get with you deep inside

A few more of those I'll be alright
Getting me through a long slow night

Wake up everyday glad to be alive
Another day of earning one-o-five
Soul is not for sale just a man for hire
The dreams alive can't kill this fire

Eking out a living in this paradise
Gimme Johnny Walker, neat, no ice
A few more those I'll be alright
Getting me through another long slow night

© Lee Down 2005

Grow Love Grow

2005-07-12T23:48:00.000-07:00

A small tear drops
expressing the depth
of emotion to be known
you bring to my heart
each treasure, each piece of gold
you, you and you, jewels and gems to behold
as the life, our stories, unfold
love shared is consoled

You inspire in me
that which I AM
knowing my heart
the depths of my soul
in its pains and sorrows shared
you show me that you cared
and listened to the stories I aired
how could I continue to be scared

A privilege it is
to be here with you all
doing life together
how can any of us fall
arm in arm we will go
even though the way be slow
friendship's warm-wind will blow
feeling the love grow

Somedays, Somedays

2005-07-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

Somedays, somedays
All is right
Even in the dark
All is bright
My love and joy
Of living life
I can ignore
All the strife
Rolling away
With the punches
I twist and turn
Avoiding the crunches
Somedays, somedays
I crave life
Today I am wishing
With all my might
Somedays, somedays

© Lee Down 2005

Cat Dreams

2005-07-11T11:08:00.000-07:00

Can the cat have people dreams?
Could that sleeping purr just be
putting dreamy moves with feline grace
on a Babe so smooth to deserve a cat call?

© Lee Down 2005

Futility

2005-07-11T06:06:00.000-07:00

Futility is everywhere
beaconed eyes searching
silent seas of wanderers
sunken faces lurching
beads of memories
tear-drops of silver
There's more to life
not just this haunting.

© Lee Down 2005

Blinding Insanity

2005-07-10T14:05:00.000-07:00

You would feel more relaxed,
you wouldn't be quick to judge
if only you could - understand me.

Meet my friend, Mr. Insanity.

He crept out of the closet,
the dark recesses of my mind,
to visit with a reminder:

Be careful, or you will be - blinder.

And let out a blood-curdling laugh!

© Lee Down 2005

Memory Clouds

2005-07-10T02:03:00.000-07:00

Past clouds touching
fallen patterns of time
see memories found.

Thoughts Chasing

2005-07-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

Lying in bed
Thoughts racing
Ideas chasing
When do I sleep?

Creditor's Crush

2005-07-08T14:04:00.000-07:00

No, don't look!
It's just another bill.
Another overdue payment.
Another headache stressed
by hunched shoulders,
pinched neck,
troubled mind.
Out of work,
building my own business,
freedom to create
evaporates
under the stress,
the deadly weight
of the creditor's crush.
Don't they know
they're rushing my demise?

Just Flow

2005-07-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

My mind and life are coming alive once again
to share scattered thoughts of
random order and chaos of disorder.

There is magic in words, in mind,
in sight, in everything we do.
What can be conceived can be believed
as so much of what is, once never was.

We are Gods, we are creation,
we are here constantly creating.
Each waking moment creating our reality
seemingly unreal when the pain is so unbearable and
the reality so surreal in times of ecstacy.

Our minds are powerful beyond measure
conducting maybe 20% of what is possible.
What greater symphony might be experienced
if we could access the complete orchestra?

The music of our lives hits lows so low
too often it seems the highs so far
in the distant past as to be almost
unbelievable when experienced again.

And yet, there is still so much that is possible
for us meagre beings inhabiting a small part
of such a big universe that can hardly
be fathomed so we don't even acknowledge,

prefering instead to stay in our head,
creating our own little world, of which we
are the masters of the universe,
the cenre of all creation and attention.

And yet, even so, we are creatures of God,
honoring our gifts through creation of our lives.
The real question to be asked;
are you of service or disservice?

The challenge of being
less of you to experience
more of you and and life.
What a powerful concept.

Obsession

2005-07-04T13:56:00.000-07:00

A fast busy life
Trying to live
Trying to survive
Working everyday
To keep up with the bills

Gotta get somewhere
Just can't stay here
Always need more
Something new
Something excited

None of it necessary
But obsession rarely is.

Silent Whispers

2005-07-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

The message

silently whispers

stirring

shifting the sands

of our desert plains

forever restless

until we listen.

Then our magic

is unleashed

first with a trickle

a steady small stream

continually growing

until finally

we become

a powerful energy

to be reckoned with

like that of Niagara Falls.

Our Power

now unleashed

pushing us forth

contributing

to ourselves

and for all to see

The Magic

each of us creates

changing us all

Forever!

Finding Youth

2005-07-02T11:49:00.000-07:00

I Wrote this Aug 27, 1996

Children laugh and squeal with delight
Running and playing with total abandon
Their sweet innocence warms our hearts
Elated by the attention of a child
We too return to our youth

Lip Service

2005-07-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

I moved away one day
Following a dream of sanity
It took me miles to days away
Days build weeks to months
Missing what was and is nor more
Where have all my friends gone?
Keep in touch we say every day
To friends we make and people we meet
Lip service is cheap for a very long time
Until the rubble pile can grow no more
Lip service is cheap for a very long time
The weight of my cheated world crushes my armor
Now I know as I’ve discovered
My friends are possessors of gold
A wealth of richness in my life
For which a wish to repay
I write a letter to three
In hopes of words of your good health
And days build weeks to months
And all the time wait for a letter
Vanna white should be walking this way
Winning to me is the prize of word
A word not spoken but written down
Forever a memory not forgotten
Instead of any of this
Lip service is cheap for a very long time
Until the rubble pile can grow no more
Lip service is cheap for a very long time
The weight of my cheated world crushes my armor
I’ll write you and right you now
To bring the life news to your mind
And in your heart I’ll be again
What’s shared never to be lost
And pasts maintained and futures created
Be well my friends have a happy long life
I’ll be there in many different ways
To be counted and counted on
As maybe a savior on a bad day
Be well my friend no more Lip service

Soul Touch

2005-07-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

Written Oct '96

Help
I scream
Quietly
Inside

Looking in
Without
All around

Speaking
Listening
To who
I am

Touch me
Upon my soul
Please

Once before
Once again
I had
Forgotten

Remembered today
A burning
Ember
Glows again

You blow
Softly
Now burns
Stronger

Searching continues
Once again
You've touched
My soul

Sorrow Joy Everlasting

2005-07-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

A sorrow meanders in our lives today
Coating us all in its melancholy smile
With moments of wonder to what is
and what will become our tomorrow

Springing to moments of joy daily
With friendship feeding a deeper need
To be at One within our expansiveness
That is our society struggling to survive

Waking today an attempt to try again
Walking towards the light of day
Being washed in the warmth of Universe
Knowing but insecure of our own worth

The Supernatural can be found
Only when the fear is put away
Opening our heart and listening
For that quiet source of everlasting

Lee Down
March 9, 2005

Pleasures of Promise

2005-06-30T00:43:00.000-07:00

uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
gimme the physical puritanical pleasures of promise

uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
titillating the tantilizing truth together in time

uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
so seriously satitisfy serenely the soul

uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
growing orgasmically organically in the groin

uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
coming completely confident with contentedness

uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

Sleep

2005-06-29T01:42:00.000-07:00

It descends softly
Enveloping slowly
With a million tiny gems
Sparkling in the mines
Of your minds eye
Creating a warmth
Of peace and serenity

Lying there still
Waiting, in the darkness
For the escape
That awaits you
Drifting slowly
With the ebbing tide
Of time and distance
No longer a reality

Thoughts become dreams
Dreams become reality
Running from the demons
To find your sanctuary
Of magnificence and grandeur
That will protect and warm
The battered heart and soul
That has battled the real world
And spirits of the night

What a Child Will See

2005-06-26T11:40:00.000-07:00

Another person - not race

Love - not skin color

Humanity - not a cultural label

Sameness - not difference

Discovery - not criticism

Curiosity - not judgement

Be Inspired!

2005-06-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

You think you’re going nowhere
But as you sit and think
The earth continues to spin
While circling the sun
So get up off the couch
And venture out into the world
As you travel in your day to day
Meet those whose paths cross yours
Listen to the words spoken
Your thoughts and emotions
As they speak to your soul
With this knowledge
Your spirit will be your guide
Leading you to fulfill
A destiny intended for you
Your dreams and desires
Fueled by the need to exceed
What you believe to be

Strange

2005-06-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

Ponder yonder
into the night
wee hours of morn
To see and wander
the landscape of thought
wildness of mind
Emotions embodied
spirit somewhere inside
soul integration
Where does the road go
one may wonder
thinking this life

Strange

Uncertainty

2005-06-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

I say, I see, I feel
Actions, words, and play
Good or bad, wrong or right
Uncertainty plays with me

Mirror Man

2005-06-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

Can you hide from it anymore?
Holier than he thou art?
I think not, yet
You parade yourself
With false airs.

“Don’t look at me that way!”
you say
I say, “Why?
Aren’t thou thine friend?”

Oh, I did not know
Thou keeps us all apart
No one ever to come close
We must all keep a distance
For if too close we get
We know not what
These feelings are

Does no one know where
Their true heart lies?
Is it confusion in thine soul?
Has thine heart been so
Profoundly bled
By hurts and betrayals of others?

Dous thou not know tis human nature?
That thou also has caused betrayal?
Ah! I thinketh a connection has thou made
Thy knows thine own true nature
Assuming the nature to be true for thine brothers
Thou art suspect of all
For thou are suspect also

Integrity

2005-06-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

Oh, the wicked webs we weave
Each strand a fragile story
The truths stand strong against the wind
The lies are torn asunder
Beneath their own weight of guilt
The search for truth in constant flight

The News

2005-06-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

Read the news today
Don’t know why
Knew it would be
All bad news
Is there any good?
How many others read
What has been written?
Do they feel like me?
The world is crying
The planet is dying
Each of us a speck
Trying to live a life
Our main concern
Our own existence
Our own survival
But what happens when
All hell breaks loose?
Shouldn’t we try to stop
The threat of our destruction?
What is your answer?

Raging Solitude

2005-06-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

Boiling blood rages inside

Racing through my veins

As spasms of anger

Ripple through every muscle

Two days and two nights

Of solitary, cooped up inside

Soul Searching

2005-06-17T12:31:00.000-07:00

How do you know?
What speaks and who listens?
I do not know
And sometimes seem lost
Where am I going?
What will I be?
Who is it that will be mine?
Is that even what I want?
In my brain, screaming so loud
“I DON”T KNOW”!
This must be a journey
Seemingly without direction
Bouncing
From one realization to the next
Discovering bit by bit
And most likely by accident
What and who I am
But only for today
As tomorrow, I am unsatisfied
And must try again
To find the truth

Her

2005-06-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

Dark pools of light
Dancing deep in her eyes
Deep within her soul
A warm wind blows
Flowing softly
In a protective embrace
To all she loves

Good Tension

2005-06-16T15:26:00.000-07:00

Astonished humility
the ego swells
with divine attention
of female sensuality
batting eyes
a nervous laugh
becomes a giggle
can't stand still
as nervous tension
sexual by now
builds a flame
the heat spreads
flame to flame
standing still
eyes intense
soaking up the sun
a forceful power
penetrating by nature
the open flower
of warm compassion
welcomes a weary traveller
to find solace
in peaceful serenity
of spiritual connection
for growing passion
to unfold and blossom
in heated exchange
of total abandon

Written today in memory of ...

By Lee Down

Why?

2005-06-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

I know you don't believe
what you cannot see
inside of you written on your face
standing out in the crowded sea of faces
fluttering absently shocked speechless they flock
reaching out in hunger for what I'm left to wonder
sucking hungry energy from a source of sweet love
the vulnerable exposes the flesh to the bone of the soul
the sad song sings its silent call for emotion the tears will speak
as they streak the lightening sky to the heart of one another
feeling the overwhelming sadness swelling the riverbanks of society
seeing myself swept up in the emotional flotsam and debris
I am carried into the undercurrents to be held breathless with life
stalled on hold until the torrential currents release the log-jam
I am launched down the chute carried by the elation of a perpetual freedom
splashed in the vigorous droplets of cold reality washing up glimpses of possibility
again in the stunning moments of the views into abyss up to the highest peaks I am

breathless

wondering

why

Presence

2005-06-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

One day, when all resistance is gone,
I will sail through life on a breeze,
and all truth will be Now.

Alone Again

2005-06-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

Can someone ease my pain
the sadness of despair
knowing I remain

Alone again

For how long I must wait
I don't understand it
It's hard to hate

Alone again

The mind takes lonely's place
In company are thoughts
Bringing a new face

Alone again

Wishing, hoping, waiting, wanting
there is more to live
not just this haunting

Alone again

Living inside my own mind
Being the friendly guy
Until one day I find

Alone again

I don't know why, don't know why
It's just the way of it
As I stare at the sky

Alone again

Until one day another tease
She'll walk this way
and say, "Please?"

Alone again

I'll wait and wonder afraid to move
Eyes discriminating
For her to prove

Alone again

Dammitall, I don't get it right
Sitting alone
Night after night

Alone again

Crying quietly deep inside
I wish I could
Just run and hide

Alone again

The Fool's Wisdom

2005-06-10T13:21:00.000-07:00

The Fool comes out to play
With wisdom, fun, and light
To poke the serious mind
With the folly that is life
Taken too seriously the trap
Of caged creativity denied
Released with laughter delight
Truth hidden in plain sight
Witness the muse released again
Bestowing riches through life
Free and playful engaging hearts
Prison doors collapse in freedom
With peals of laughter, mirth and power
Spirits dance freely with melancholy souls
Able to rejoice in the pain and suffering
Knowing the truth of a life well-lived
To risk and play with choices made
Discovering the way of a truthful path
Climbing the mountain to summit's peak
To bask in glory of life's landscape
The Fool rises again.

Written this morning over coffee. Happy April Fool's Day! :)

Choose Life

2005-06-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

Think and think and think
and get caught in your mind
trapped with the fear of choice
right or wrong how do you know
without trusting the bodily emotion
that feels the truth resonated
in being the creator of your future
just let it go, let it go, the freedom
yours to discover with failure
success will shortly follow
each new turn leads the way
closer to the heart beating
strongly inside your own being
Being with One the Source of Life
a flower never questions the way
leaning this way and that way
growing toward the moving sun
around obstacles fallen in path
life represents no different law
upward you go or choose certain death
to live in hell on earth with despair
over frozen action full of fear
instead push-up moving always forward
towards the heated sun that inspires
energy moving quickly in synergy
with your Being alive in adventure
choosing life, not the mind-trap

This World

2005-06-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

G'Mornin

2005-06-09T12:19:00.000-07:00

Yawn, stretch
Eyes blinking slowly
The fog lifts
Consciousness returns
As a new day begins
Daylight creeping in
Darkness, ever present
Withdraws into the corners
Standing tall
Return to life
Focused on the light

Need

2005-06-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

Facing her, he feels a need
A need to be closer, inside
The intimate act of love
Draws him to her
As a moth to a flame
A gentle touch spreading
The warmth of contact
Creating a sense of well-being

Working Stiffs

2005-06-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

Sleepy people on the bus
Eyes foggy with lazy lids
Sullen eyes on serious faces
As they are awakened
By the mundane tasks
Of another day at the office

Question Mark

2005-06-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

Here I am
Sitting alone
and pondering
What about
I do not know
I can just feel it
The big question mark
Following me around

Burn

2005-06-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

Sauntering unsteadily
Outstretched arm
Ready to grasp
To catch a fall
His world
The streets
Litter, cans
Small change
And cigarette butts
Pain unknown
Long forgotten
Drowned
Years of nothing
A meager existence
Disappearing
He is no longer
Of this reality

The Party

2005-06-07T18:13:00.000-07:00

Endless chattering
gaggling geese
a dull roar
envelopes the air
with good cheer

Faces break
the stone away
with merry chant
and throaty cackle
hearts are lifted
at every table

Warm welcome
eyes contact
broad smiles
proudly displayed
loyal attendants
tend appetites
for spirits, food
and fun.

A Statement

2005-06-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

The power of nature so unique
The world we live in can even speak
The awesome wonders for all to see
And painful plundering of our sacred trees
The species of man continues to expand
Leaving his mark upon the land
History tells us that this is progress
But in reality we only get less
On this planet man continues to kills
As nature recovers from another oil spill
Many of us do love this land
Trying to lend a helping hand
Can we change business and politics?
Cause we are this planets fleas and ticks

Before You Go Please

2005-06-07T01:11:00.000-07:00

Wake me up before you go please
Stroke my head gently and easily
I’ll stir slowly coming awake
Gimme a kiss before you go please
I wanna taste your honey sweetness
A beautiful flower all sticky and sweet
Gimme a taste before you go please
The gentle caress and salty kiss
Tasting honey before moving on top
Aroused and awake eyes full of you
Gimme some before you go please
Soft wet flesh salty sweet
My tongue caresses your love petals
I want you before you go please
A shiver of ecstacy, exquisite delight
Your lips wrap me up oh so tight
Throbbing, quivering, Oh my God
Waves of pleasure wash all over me
Let us join before you go please
Mouths watering and sweetly wet
Tongues and lips tasting each other
Shifting hips, legs all scrambling
Gliding inside slowly and easily
Oh so wet before you go please
Filling you inside you surround me
All hot slippery and juicy wet
Each thrust slow deliberate and controlled
Allowing pleasure to completely take hold
Release me before you go please
Arm in arm, lips to lips
Tongues entwined and hip to hip
Thrusting in unison we continue to climb
The sensation surrounds completely around
Head to toe and top to bottom
Back to back and front to front
Tingling, shivering and quivering
I’m undone by you as you scream
Hug me tight before you go please

by Lee Down, 1997

all material is copyright protected throughout the blog.

I See You

2005-06-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

I look at you
And study your face
Being so critical
To see what you hide
But all I see is
Radiant beauty
Accented with sparkling smile
Even in the cold harsh light of day

© Lee Down 2005

Flash

2005-06-06T08:08:00.000-07:00

Blue sky
Tranquil sea
Encompassing
Interrupted violently
Gathering quickly
Carpeted above
Lightening bolts
Blinding flash
Torrents pour
Winds whip
Crack
Bough breaking
Sudden peace
Calm returns

© Lee Down 2005

Future is Murder

2005-06-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

Look at our society, our culture
And tell me what is wrong
Young people are stressed
Beyond belief living
With fear and uncertainty
About their future unkown
Hate and distrust many hearts
They're struggling to survive
Nails chewed down to quick
Wonder what it would take
To settle their heartache
Something has gone missing
From slower days passed
Tell me there is nothing wrong
I'll say you're asleep at the wheel
Today’s children parade their attitudes
Marching on the backs of our unborn
Scared for the future, what will be
No change seen today, death tomorrow

People Watching

2005-06-06T07:04:00.000-07:00

Walking around through life today
Looking for a life that brings meaning
I'm watching people and wondering
Why does it seem we're all play acting

I'm led to believe it's all a game
Dressed up images and plastic smiles
A mask of confidence to brave the world
Finding fulfillment in the emptiness

Returning home to a small cocoon
Private inner world to create sanity
Obsessed with pets and mindless TV
Living vicariously dreams of adventure

Hiding away behind the confident mask
They're pretending to be fully alive
But I see a fear behind their eyes
When I give them my smile of freedom

What are they hiding, what's the fear
That keeps them living smaller lives
Keeping them down and all alone
Communities cracked from disconnect

In the city so big pockets collapse
As people move offline from reality
Virtual communities and relationships
Sitting alone in front of their computer

There is nobody warm and caring
To laugh and cry in complete humility
Cynical existence replaced authenticity
Hidden and protected behind the screen

Who am I now, what is missing
The void inside screams all the while
To feel another presence connected deeply
To know I am here and really alive

**** this is just an observation of conversations and relationships to which I've been privy.

Meaning of Life?

2005-06-06T01:10:00.000-07:00

Forty-Two today
Oh, is it your birthday?
No, dumspter divers.
Huh?
Dumpster divers,
forty-two today.
Forty-two.
Coincidence?

No more, Daydreamer!

2005-06-06T01:03:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry reality
that can't just be me
I'm optimistic to a fault
I don't know how to halt

I want to reach the sky
to experience the high
of living a loud life
not all that silly strife

You can have it if you want
it's yours for a haunt
I'm off to dreamland
where it isn't so bland

The way I look at things
to me goodness it brings
for a dreamers eye is high
with an attitude to try

Try hard - Yes I do
each day is brand new
with a smile on my face
I make it a happy place

I will see others smile
you see; I'm versatile
with a can-do attitude
and heart of gratitude

Giving love to others
they're all my brothers
I see me in all of you
if you saw, you would too

It grows in my heart
a neverending part
with me giving it
you might stop to sit

In peace.

Headrush

2005-06-05T16:01:00.000-07:00

A quiet giggle
A shy smile
Holding hands
Twinkling eyes
Breathing
Sniff it in
A glorious fragrance
You smell
You feel
Tingling
Everywhere
Veins screaming
Blood pumping
Pulsating
Throbbing
You grab hold
Hugging tightly
With a kiss
Made lightly
Breathe in again
Inhaling more
The room spins
As you gasp
For air
Nose twitching
Wanting more
So you hold on
Tightly
On the edge
Balancing
Grabbing on
In an embrace
You kiss
Deep, longingly
In fantasy
Too good to be true
Is it real
Or hallucination
Eyes closing
Lazily
Tongue reaching
Caressing
Searching for more
Inhale
The scent
Tickling
Taunting
Teasing
Creates desire
Insatiable
For more
Holding on
Falling
To the bed
Inseparable
Surrendering
Plummeting
Over the edge
The drug, love

Lee Down 1994

Believe

2005-06-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

Believe
In who you are,
What you can do.
Open your mind
and possibilities
will flood in.

Remember who you are
And where you came from.
Remember all the people
And keep all your friends.

Believe and take action.
Believe and live life.
Believe and risk yourself.
Risk and know what is possible.

Lee Down
November 1994

Website Updates

2005-06-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

Recent updates have been completed for the One Man Can website. The link will open a new browser window so blogexplosion surfers won't lose any credits.

Check it out and if you see any corrections or issues, please let me know.

Thanks.

Come Play

2005-06-05T02:02:00.000-07:00

I came to see you this rainy day
Wanting to invite you to come out and play
Walked in the door and asked for a seat
Until I saw you my heart never missed a beat
And when I saw you my heart skipped a beat

Now I sit here wondering what I have to do
To be the lucky man to spend some time with you
Instead I behave the flustery fool
No matter what I do I can't keep cool
No matter how hard I try I'm so not cool

You probably look at me and think what a weirdo
But I work up my courage and say "here we go"
I lay it on the line and make the invite
My heart has stopped, my breath held tight
I wait for an answer with breath held tight

copyright protected 2005

Alive

2005-06-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

I wanna go higher
cuz I'm on fire
don't wanna survive
I wanna be ALIVE

A Big Blow

2005-06-04T11:54:00.000-07:00

You say you want to know me
but I don't know really why
With my passion running deeply
I'm chasing after the sky

We end up getting married
It works okay for awhile
Then you want to be carried
Giving me a tired smile

My heart has become heavy
You don't wanna be my wife
Cause I want to fly Baby
And you want a different life

I won't live on the surface Baby
I want to go deeper inside
Don't even think of saying maybe
Because there you can still hide

It's now or never sweetheart
And you ask me to let you go
Saying good-bye is the hard part
And my heart takes the big blow

Being Freedom

2005-06-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

There is a sadness in my heart today
It's heavy, hard, and ready to break
"It will be freedom," I'd like to say
A life to live I would like to take

Standing tall and unafraid
People taking issue as they want
No change in me as a band-aid
Cause who I am is not a taunt

I am a man living in heat
Sex and life feed my creativity
If you don't like it take a seat
It's all you can do to let me be me

I know I am human in all it entails
The dark and light of humanity
Exist in me within all the details
All of life's coarseness embraced by me

No Choice

2005-06-04T04:44:00.000-07:00

To sit or stand is to risk demise
In this landscape of ill repute
Opinions everywhere watching and waiting
To parade foul in their ire

© Lee Down 2005

Fingers Entwined

2005-06-04T02:43:00.000-07:00

Fingers entwined
Wrapped round and round
Forever bound
With the power of love
There is no beginning
There is no end
We have no reason to pretend
Though hands may part
And times get hard
We make new reasons
For brand new starts
Always fingers entwined

Revised April 2005

Beached Thoughts

2005-06-04T00:42:00.000-07:00

Deafening space and time
A moment's eternity
Stretches to infinity

What is reality?
Where is reality?
When is reality?

When do you stop?
When do you wake?
When do you see?

Just some new thoughts inspired today on the beach.

Dancing Life

2005-06-03T21:40:00.000-07:00

Having used all the excuses
Blood runs like molasses
The heavy-weight gives a sigh
Looking over at the opponent
No sign of weary defeat
A discovery dawning
Life always wins over
Struggling antagonism
Give in to resistance
Victory is in the dance
Ebbing and flowing
With the rhythm of Life
Only destination to find
Present in the moment

Lee Down

Words Razorsharp

2005-06-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

Razor sharp
And icy steel
Slicing abdomens
As they are
Expelled
In a breath
Of singing fire
Power and glory
Thorny roses
Stuffed into the ears
Of the audience
Too quiet
They listen
In pain
Clenched teeth
Tightly
Teardrops rolling
Scarlet red
Thick and syrupy
“hit me,” I say, “hit me!”
and the torrential rains
of punishing vowels, consonants
intended to sever,
to separate,
a heart
with white glory
sunshine and dew
cool and crisp
those words continue
to cut away

written Dec 15, 1997

by Lee Down

Surviving Life

2005-06-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

What is it with me
That I sit alone
Night after night

Meeting beautiful women
With brains and something
That shines in their eyes

A lucky man am I?
So much to say, to think
About what
I know not
Til something gives
In to my foresight
Or alas too late
My hindsight

I feel I know not what
Nor wherefor
Deep down inside
Emotions too turbulent
To enjoy the ride
I see in me
So much to share
But too much to hold
So push it back
To hide
Deep down inside

But alas,
I try and try
To hold back and fight
But the strength I find
Welling up inside
Bursts forth
Disappointed with what
I see
I feel
I hear

Suffering of a city
Of a family
Now dead
Senselessness
All around
Confusion
Impatience
So much of each of us
Sacrificed
Left to die
In our own fight
To stay alive

Can anyone see?
A sense to it?
Any of it?
What it is?
Tis what?

Am I strange
Or are they
That walk in fear
Running
Looking
For somewhere to hide

Asleep I must be
For a nightmare
This seems
Not right it is
Or strange
It would not seem

Look at a neighbor
Across the street
Or seated in a car
Right next to you

They don’t look back
They only react
To the stress
Each day
As they lose their mind

Being alone
As I am
I see for sure
Everybody!
We need each other!

written September 23, 1997

by Lee Down

Savor Life

2005-06-03T16:47:00.000-07:00

Whence life's joys
drink slowly
Afraid
Aware
sorrows past
reject living path
know finding future
touch eternity
seek
Savor Life

© Lee Down 2005

Living Paradise

2005-06-03T16:45:00.000-07:00

World Pain

2005-06-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

I see what I want to ignore
Unable to hide from it anymore
My happy face has gone away
And now don’t want to go out and play

There are people starving
With many more in pain and dying
No real homes for warmth or shelter
Our world has become helter skelter

Sitting here on a soft warm bed
I can’t get their pain out of my head
I wish there was something I could do
But I don’t know and neither do you

written September 16, 1997

by Lee Down

Musings one day

2005-06-03T01:05:00.000-07:00

“Hello? Can anyone hear me? I’m here, can you see me?“

I waited. Silence returned. Not wanting to panic, I decided to wait a bit longer. Still, silence, no movement, and I began to feel the anxiety swell up. I looked intently around me hoping to see; something, anything. The tiniest movement or acknowledgement would have been so welcome, but nothing came.

This made no sense to me. I see them, they’re sitting there, engaged in their own little worlds but they don’t seem to know that I’m here. I turned around, quickly at first to look in the opposite direction. Then, dissatisfied, I turned slowly, taking in the view 360° around me. Every direction I looked I could see people, some just mere meters away. In exasperation I sat down.

Cross-legged with my chin in my hands, I scowled and looked about in front of me. I was chewing my lip now and I my forehead was furrowed in a deep frown. Different thoughts raced through my mind as I wondered at this strange situation. Am I asleep and just having a weird dream? Thinking about it, I dismissed it figuring a dream would metamoph much sooner than this. Hmm, what next?

Playful Love

2005-06-03T00:34:00.000-07:00

Playing eyes
at, for each other
a wave of pleasure
anticipation
of fun tonight
Now dance
in the park
so close together
no room to breathe
passion take flight
carry me away
with the wave
of excitement
a first time
or one hundred and first
still does the same
blood in my veins
blood from my name
dancing for you
dancing for me
life is sweet
having fun every day
someone to play

written June 23, 1997

by Lee Down

Sleep Surreal

2005-06-02T07:22:00.000-07:00

All This with a Kiss

2005-06-02T02:11:00.000-07:00

My eyes blurred with ecstacy
And libido running wildly
My tongue danced with yours
Licking sweat from your pores

It's a frenzied feeding
As temperatures rise unheeding
Dripping appetites for flesh
Tongues lap sweetness fresh

Tastebud to tastebud touch
Our spirits blend, oh, so much
Lost in the fantasy of freedom
Eyes see my soul, bid me to - come

Sinking into you with each tongue-lick
And you moan to me baby, "Not so quick."
Teasing, taunting, hips now prompting
Bid to cum, "Yes, yes, yes," you will sing

Eyes blood-red, rushing to my head
Bucking sucker holding you to the bed
Legs squeezed in a mighty crush
My only quest, for you to gush

Drowning the days sorrows in ecstacy
So blended spirits can soar freely
And Baby... it's all this
With the thought of a kiss.

© Lee Down 2005

Sun's Love

2005-06-02T00:20:00.000-07:00

Blazing upon daybreak
I dreamed the silky sun
dazzled those found
blinding delicious laughter
Burning lonely desire

Dreams to Reality

2005-06-01T21:01:00.000-07:00

Expansiveness seen overhead, above and beyond
Opaque wispy blue tinted overspray white
Upon the breeze comes time and chance
To while away a conjured reality
Of hopes and dreams served on fine china
Suspended by fine fragile threads frayed
By the weathered storm of unkempt emotions
Battling life weary with worry and fear
To fall sleepless tiredly to a cold tile floor
Shattering the reality to build new castles
Of dreams of might and wonder tomorrow
Destroying what was, having to build anew.

this spilled out while sitting at a coffee shop one spring day

Stupid Thoughts

2005-06-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

Try to sleep
lying in bed,
thoughts run through
my stupid head.

Keeps me awake
until I write it down,
so I am thinking
with a frown.

And then I start
under the light,
sometimes so prolific
it gives me a fright.

Why do I do it
I cannot comprehend,
but I feel so good
in the end.

This is an old poem from November 1994 - I stumbled upon it today, had a laugh and brought it to share! :)

Musings: Rats in a cage

2005-06-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

I see so much more mental illness. Stress. Anxiety. Depression. Drugs. Cutting. Abortion. The list goes on.

I see so much more dysfunction. Broken families. Runaways. Prostitution. Sexual abuse. Emotional abuse.

I see much less community. Neighborhoods collapse. People withdrawn. Everything locked down. Kids play inside. Nintendo. Electronics. Television.

I see many more lost faces. Compromised values. Dreams unfulfilled. Accepting 2nd best. Emotional dependance. Fear. Slavery to a system. Slavery to beliefs. Brainwashed emotionally.

I see much more antagonism. Unemployment. Theft. Financial strain. Marital abuse. Win at all costs. Increase the divide. Greed & power. Growing numbers in poverty.

I see much more dissatisfaction. Settling for security. Not achieving potential. Giving up dreams. Denied talent.

Are we the rats in the cage?

Is this era a period of time to study how far human beings can be pushed?

Can you imagine waking up to an earthquake every day for 5 months straight? Multiple quakes in a day?

Do you think we could be more productive if the pace slowed down and we found more time for our relationships? For community? For recreation?

What would it be like working for a company that cared about its' people, its' community, and the planet's resources?

What would it be like to experience fewer restrictions and more freedom in complete safety?

A Random Thought

2005-06-01T00:15:00.000-07:00

When seeking the Gold in life that brings value, we must persevere through hardships and dig through much muck to find the vein of Truth for our life.

Desired Joy

2005-05-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

Love & Peace

2005-05-31T00:13:00.000-07:00

Life is hard ya know. This I've learned.

But we're all people, humans; brothers & sisters.

So instead of complaining, today, about the way we behave poorly to each other,

I'm here to extend my Love and wishes for Peace to you.

Hello Life

2005-05-26T01:55:00.000-07:00

Hello Life
How are you today?
You are so complicated
And yet so simple
I can never seem to grasp
The art of accepting you
Each and every day
Sometimes it works
But other times
You are so full of wrinkles
That no matter what I do
I can never iron you out
But then, I would forget
And the wrinkles disappear
Now tell me life
How do you do it?

© Lee Down 2005

God Speaks or just good advice

2005-05-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

Think, dream, and ponder on the life that you long for. Listen to what calls from deep within the quiet still waters of your soul.

Do not lament what you do not have, it will come. Do not sorrow over the time it takes for dreams to come true. There is much learning through the journey of life in preparation for the dreams that will unfold. The bigger the dreams, the bigger the tests and challenges. So as the heights are tested, the depth of character increases.

I bid you to dream your dreams and think gladly on them. It is not in the longing lament of self-pity that these desires come to fruition; it is through the glad thoughts of power and love that creates the synergy and action in your Being necessary for growth and fruit in your life. As the trials and pains of life are faced, dwell upon those dreams. Envision the life you will have for yourself and be glad for the lessons preparing you for the loves, for your dreams, for bringing your light into the world.

This happens to me frequently. I'll be sitting relaxed, listening to music or not, and be in some space zone. Suddenly, I'll discover that a thought is running through my head repeatedly, in that quiet place, and following the thread there is a message. This is one of those that I just captured. You may have read another that actually got published and is here called Are We Awakening or another called What To Do? Life's Big Question.
Yeah, anyway, I'm just grateful for the opportunity to capture these pearls and share them with others. I hope you get something out of them too.
It's important to recognize that following these deeper callings require us facing our fears. Quite often, what we long for the most will have us face our deepest fear. In order to achieve one we must overcome the other. In so doing, facing these trials life offers, we become better people and do not succumb to the ignorance we see among so many dishonest privileged, corporations, and governments.
We will reap what we sow;
sow Love of the Higher kind.
Peace ~ Love ~ Lee

PS - I took those photos. :D

Walls

2005-05-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

Perfection

2005-05-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a park
On the mountain
I see the grandeur
God has granted us
In the mountains, ocean
Inlets and trees
Then on closer inspection
I really get to see
The beauty of the branches
The spider web
Stretched between the leaves
Dangling below, in he hunters stance
He slowly dances
With the breeze
The blade of grass
The ferns perfection
The attention to detail
For all to breathe

I wrote this in my journal September 14, 1997

Virus Man

2005-05-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

The massive peaks
Stared down at me
Accusingly
A man of destruction
Builder of cities
Noise and pollution
A sense of guilt
Washes over me
As I see the rubble
Ancestors laid to waste
Desacration
Annihalation
Of our mother’s purity
Now stripped bare
Scarred remains
Littering the landscape
Everchanging
As woven tentacles
Which cling to earth
Having ripped away
Her mighty strength

© Lee Down 2005

Written in my journal July 26, 1997

Memory Clouds

2005-05-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Past clouds touching
fallen patterns of time
see memories found.

Coloring Life

2005-05-25T23:56:00.000-07:00

The color of life is
a thought on my mind
a speck of possibility
bright enough to blind.

In the past you must see
the emotional ride,
the richness undefined,
nothing felt to be denied.

Each chapter, each slice
tells another unique story,
painting a new picture,
all lived, to your glory.

The good and the bad
are instructions of life,
an experience made,
man's most heart-felt strife.

Fiery burning of strife
awakens within, spirit
forged by life's furnace
listen and you will - hear it.

It's a tiny spark calling
the heart asleep, shaken
soul, a generous life
choose to die or awaken.

Each moment that you live
a brush-stroke is made,
a choice made of color,
so do it loud, unafraid.

The moment died, eventually
now or later choose
a magnificent painting alive
or small sketch, you lose.

© Lee Down 2005

Crow's Call Revealed

2005-05-25T23:51:00.000-07:00

As the crow brings wing to a taunting call
and the float plane drones on overhead
I am seated firmly on the old cedar log
secure in the resplendent nature that surrounds me

I fantasize about life with coffee on hand
and cigarette smoldering between fingers
With one last drag and licking of lips
I exhale, as I toss it all away

The worries and troubles with taunting call
have winged away as fantasy arrives overhead
The dreams smolder within reach of my fingers
Breathing in I taste possibility upon my lips

There is no time, there is no space
It is only here, now, Oneness
Solidly present within one's presence
The choices of possibility always within reach

The noise of life and ego compete with peace
as traffic screams by the still forested trees
the tenuous grasp crushed underneath the heel
of a world rushing towards its own decay

Weak with desire for a luxurious life
I wine away priceless moments of opportunity
becrying my lot in life and community
dreaming of a day in yester-year brightness

Blinding the eyes toward vision and imagination
the darkness shrouds the mind's landscape
creating beliefs to exist towards limitation
I seize the moment to do nothing yet again

Wisdom seeps into the flesh of my body
as surely as the rain soaks into the earth
and the body's peace is restored to rest
as the stress drains into the log's decayed flesh

The moment stretches into forever, until
with the last sip of coffee drained away
the future's plans scream mightily for attention
while the crow swoops in upon his cackling caw

© Lee Down 2005

Elusive Scent

2005-05-25T23:49:00.000-07:00

Standing on the corner
One hand fallen down
In wait, for the time of love

The elusive scent spent
Lovers wilted stems, petals falling
Memories long last longing

Echoes ghost silently past
Desire’s embers glow, lava flowing
Tomorrow’s breeze now blowing

Sun-bright dawn life’s caress
Lovers embraced arms, sunbeams holding
Human nature’s heat - need rising

Standing on the corner
One hand fallen down
In wait, for the time of love

Here today, but will I be - tomorrow?

Hell Time

2005-05-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

did it again - visited http://chocolate.mindsay.com/ again - her little phrase,

...Age ain't nothing but a number...

which prompted me to write,

cuz time ain't nothing but change
hell, it wouldn't exist if we didn't live
to measure the while away

Final Result

Hell Time

Age ain't nothing but a number
cuz time ain't nothing but change
hell, it wouldn't exist if we didn't live
to measure the while away

© Lee Down 2005

Sit with this!

2005-05-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

following a stream of consciousness

zero equals infinity - you see?

no, you can't fit limitless quantities into nothing

sure you can

no, you can't

okay, look. with nothing, there are no boundaries, there are no limits; just emptiness

so?

so, infinite fits into that space, that emptiness

huh?

yes. and so does our universe. that's where you'll find God too.

huh?

yes, God. He is those spaces - perfect - there is no light, there is no dark, there is no matter, no nothing, just - perfection - the source of love, of creation - it exists in the empty space of nothing - that's where we come from, what we're made of.

oooohhhhh, my brain!

by going inwards, within ourselves, to reach the quiet space, we can hear God and hear our spirit - we cannot comprehend what we cannot see and what is nothing cannot be seen - and yet, nothing is everything.

Silence's Truth

2005-05-25T23:41:00.000-07:00

I've so many things to say
and yet silence followed me

I'd dash this way and that
but he'd never be far behind me

So stopped cold in my tracks
head low, steeped in thought

I turned and stood taller
stepped forward with a holler

And said to my friend
"What do you want!?"

Silence stood quietly forlorn
kicking a stone and looking down

I walked over closer
putting one arm around

I pulled quietly with love
sucking that energy inside me

Silent solitude took place
and the quiet blessed presence

No reason to be, to share
relaxed in the sphere

I watched as the world
whizzed by silently

I could see clarity
her crystal fortelling all

Quiet mind memories true
to detail and Silence's truth

© Lee Down 2005

sex change

2005-05-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

insecure lipstick tells

self-consciously stumbling

he's transitional queen

heels life drag

The Dis-Ease

2005-05-25T23:34:00.000-07:00

THE DIS-EASE

The disease is a dis-ease
can't you dis-ease the disease?

My mind all in worry
with my doubts and my fears
My face creased with lines
cheeks laced with my tears

I wanna be perfect
don't wanna stand out

It's a fight everyday
trying to be normal
Sometimes I wanna scream
"This feels too formal!"

The who that I am
somewhere deep down inside
has been so long lost
don't know where to look

I wanna be perfect
don't wanna stand out
The disease is a dis-ease
Why can't I
dis-ease the disease?

Maybe then
I could feel normal
as me.

Live Love

2005-05-25T23:30:00.000-07:00